4 Things You Need to Know Before Filing for Divorce

Get Your Money Picture In Focus

Start with facts, not vibes. Pull the last 12 months of bank and credit card statements, three years of tax returns, recent pay stubs, mortgage balance, car notes, and the current totals on retirement accounts. List assets on one page and debts on another. Be specific. That set of golf clubs, the lawn mower, airline miles, and the 529 you forgot you opened. 

If you like spreadsheets, great. If not, use a legal pad and two columns. In practice, clarity beats elegance every time.

Numbers shift. So build a simple monthly budget that reflects real life. Rent or mortgage, utilities, groceries, transportation, childcare, prescriptions, one small line for surprises. If you can, run a stress test for a lean month. It helps.

Timing Quietly Changes Outcomes

When you file affects temporary support, living arrangements, and how calm your calendar feels. If a bonus pays on the 15th, note it. If school ends in eight weeks, circle that too. Draft a 90-day calendar and mark paydays, tuition, insurance renewals, and big bills. Then ask a seasoned divorce lawyer how those dates interact with the rules that apply to you. You do not want to stumble over a deadline you did not know existed.

A small example. If you share a joint account that covers the mortgage on the first, plan the filing date so you are not scrambling on rent day. That one tweak saves a weekend of panic.

Think In Agreements, Not Fights

The court is one path. Mediation or a collaborative setup can shorten timelines and lower the temperature. Start by writing two lists. Non-negotiables and nice to haves. Maybe staying in the house until June matters because of final exams. Maybe you are fine trading the dining set for a larger share of a retirement account. Knowing your priorities makes you steadier at the table.

Use concrete trade ideas. One extra overnight on alternating weeks in exchange for a full week in July. Coverage for orthodontics in exchange for a smaller share of the sofa and bedroom set. Specifics make negotiation real.

Parenting Plans Need Real Life Details

A solid plan looks past alternating weekends and into Tuesday at 5.30 p.m. after soccer. Write down who handles pediatric appointments, school emails, prescription refills, teacher workdays, and snow makeup days. Roughly, the more ordinary details you capture, the fewer emergencies you will have.

Build routines you can keep. A shared calendar with color codes, or a  Sunday night text that confirms the week. A rule that schedule changes need 24 hours of notice unless someone is ill. Small structure. Big payoff.